Okay guys, listen up. Although I have denied it for years, it seems that the "nice guys finish last" thing is at least partially true. Well, it is in the early stages of a relationship, anyway. If the best thing you can offer seems to be flowers, dinner and compliments after a few dates, don't expect to win us over. Sometimes we stick around because we think we should, but sooner or later we realize that it just feels wrong. This has been the consensus among my single girlfriends lately. Hear me out, though.
See, it's not that we want you to be mean to us. We don't. We still expect to be treated well...It's just that we don't want to be treated too well at first. I'm talking, like, agreeing with everything we say, showering us with gifts, being too available, always opening the car door for us (okay, maybe that last one is just me...). Why go through all that trouble when you barely know us? Even if your intentions are good, it comes across as desperate, potentially clingy and suspicious. We wonder, are you buttering us up early so that we will be more forgiving of your bad behavior down the road? And who are you, really?
Now, I'm not saying that you should be a jerk and you should stop trying to be nice, either. Some girls do go for that, I'm not gonna lie, but it never ends well. Most of us just want you to be your own person, not the person you think we want you to be. If you're the right guy, the person we want you to be is who you are already, anyway (uh, stay with me here). What I'm saying is, don't let us think that we can walk all over you - not that we would, necessarily, but we shouldn't even have the option. Challenge us and continue to live your own life (while still making time for us, of course), and we will respect you. At least, that's how I see it. I think that all healthy, smart, secure women demand an equal, not a doormat. We expect healthy, smart, secure men to demand the same thing.
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