Metamorphosis

My current circumstances remind me how far I have come personally in recent years, especially in recent months. The work situation hasn't improved much, but I think this part-time deal is a blessing in disguise. I am not exhausted at the end of the day/week, so I am open to so many more opportunities. At least I'm still designing and I'm finding other ways to keep myself entertained. I still take my work seriously, but the difference is that I am not that attached to it. I'm more concerned with everything outside of work, and since I've basically been on the other end of that spectrum, I can see this is clearly how it should be.

For the first time in a long time, I can honestly say that I am content with just about everything. I'm still living within my means and I have a steady stream of money on the side coming in between freelance and hopefully this dance teacher job. I'm paying my aunt a very small amount each month (would be nothing if it was her decision) to live in her house, and I have the place to myself. (I hate to see my grandpa the way he is, but it has been a long time coming and I am coming to terms with it.) I am in a solid relationship that seems to have a good balance of everything. I see or talk to my friends on a regular basis and am gaining more friends through work and taiko. Japan in August should be a trip of a lifetime. Yep, I can live with this. It's not exactly what I had in mind, but it works just the same, maybe even better than I planned.

How odd. So how did I get here? Well, I think last year was a necessary, though painful, cleansing process. It feels as though losing my fancy job, my sense of security, my prized possession, and my own place (oh, and the ability to use my left hand to play in the biggest taiko show of the year...) really shed my "cocoon," if you will. No, "shed" is putting it too lightly. I was in the process of slowly shedding it before last year. Last year just busted it open. Many of those things that kept me safe and comforted suddenly disappeared and I was forced into the elements. I walked around in a daze for a while--bewildered, stumbling, just trying to keep my footing--and then, well, I guess you could say I discovered the ability to fly. And I will never be the same.