My corner of the world

The fact that I'm writing a post almost makes it seem like I have time for this. Well, I'll just shave off some time from sleeping. That's what weekends are for...well, not Sundays because of taiko...okay, that's what Saturdays are for. This Saturday I'm volunteering to help with tornado clean-up, but I don't have to get up early for that.

Anyway, I don't have an overarching theme or idea for this post, so I'm just going back to my trusty bulleted list of things I've been thinking about:

• I am almost sure that I'm allergic to mold. This non-stop rain has been killing me.

• The royal wedding is on in the middle of the night, thank God. Then I can stop hearing about it, right? It's everywhere, and I'm not really sure why. I'm curious about what Kate's dress will look like and that's about it. I'm betting that marrying a prince is not all it's cracked up to be. Better her than me.
  

• We should get back to the important news, like Obama's long-form birth certificate. It turns out he's legitimately American...but probably still a socialist muslim, so does the birth certificate mean anything? (I'm kidding, of course.) It seems like all this fodder has more to do with his race than his agenda, and it makes me sick.
  

• I just remembered that I used to refer to most "black" people as "brown" when I was a kid, unless their skin was really dark. I would just use it to point out a particular person, in the same way I would call someone "blond." I didn't know that there were categories, and that was nice.
  

• If I could ask an evangelical republican any question, it would be: "If you take the abortion issue off the table completely, do you think Jesus would be a democrat or republican? Why?" I just wonder what part of The Bible recommends the "trickle down effect" or that "each man for himself" mentality, for example. I honestly can't figure out how they relate, and I don't know if I will ever see it.

• On an unrelated note, plans for Peru are finally nailed down! I can't believe I leave in a month. Macchu Picchu, the Nazca Lines, Lima, Cuzco, some islands...this would not have happened if it was up to me to take the initiative. I did a bit of research and we are going through a travel agent, but I feel like I'm basically tagging along. That's okay, it sounds fun, anyway. We landed on South America because there are more active things to do (hiking, doonbuggies, water-related things) than say, walking around Europe. I'll go back to Europe later.

• I will go back to Europe. I don't say things I don't mean.
  

• For the record, I do not cuddle with or do anything more than hug my guy friends, and that applies to this trip. Things are going too well with Mick to chance it on something with absolutely no future. I'm not the kind of girl to blame bad decisions on being drunk, either. I tend to think that's just an excuse to do something you didn't want to take responsibility for when you were sober.

• Mick's intuition rivals mine, and he's picked up on more facets of my personality in 3 months than some people have in 3 years. I was going to tell you about something we planned to talk about tomorrow, but you'll probably gag. :-P I will say that "I can take down my walls around you..." (plus reasons why) is one of the most perfect things anyone could say to me, and he had no idea how hard I fought and ultimately lost that battle before. I think transparency--being comfortable with vulnerability, sincere and open--is a large part of the foundation in any solid relationship.
  

• I think I'm doing a pretty good job of keeping the ghosts of the past away, but some (mean, careless) comments still seep into consciousness. I try to just briefly acknowledge them, let them go, and breathe a sigh of relief. It seems to do a good job of erasing the words, and then I'm just left with a sense of...well, I think it's forgiveness and sympathy, actually. How strange.
  

• I've been operating on a level that I didn't even know that I could, in terms of almost everything. I feel inspired.
  

Tornado Awareness

My family went to look at the damage a little yesterday, the parts we were allowed to see up close. The airport (and damage) is actually 1.5 miles from my house, too! Closer than I thought. You can see some of the Bridgeton damage from 70. Before, the houses were mostly hidden by the trees, but now, most of those trees are gone. Huge trees. I used to look at Christmas lights in that neighborhood with my family every year, too. I can't imagine losing everything that quickly. Next time I have to go to the basement for a storm, I am bringing my purse. At least then I will know where to start if something like that happens, God forbid.

I get the sense that even a lot of St. Louisans still don't know what happened. They know there was a tornado somewhere North-ish, sure, but unless they watched the news and saw the leveled houses, I'm not sure they realize this was the worst tornado to hit St. Louis since 1967. It was also the first EF4 in the country so far this year (stay tuned). Tornadoes don't usually hit cities--my cousin with a meteorology degree said that usually the air is too dry, so the worst of the storms go around it. I'm still amazed that no one was really even hurt.

I'm writing about it again because it hits close to home, quite literally. I know more people than I thought in those neighborhoods. There are also some businesses at the Rock Road and 70 that are practically gone. Somehow, an old abandoned house/business is practically untouched, while most of the newer buildings around it are in pieces. The cars in the car dealership were not moved, yet the boats, RVs, airplanes (?) on the storage lot next to it are jumbled together in parts. The digital billboard is down. It's very strange how the tornado seemed to pick and choose what parts to destroy and what parts to leave.

My sister and mom are looking for opportunities to help. As my sister said, she's terrified of tornadoes and she's glad she wasn't in it, so she wants to help those who were. If they go on a weekend, I'll join them, but if it's a weekday I can't. I guess we can help pick up debris, there's so much of it.

Too close for comfort

That crude sketch at the top shows approximately how close my house (B) was to the areas hit the hardest by last night's tornado, Harmann Estates in Bridgeton and the airport. There are about 4 miles between the tornado icons. I was about 2.5 miles from both. Houses were leveled from what I think has been classified as an F4 (when it hit Harmann Estates, above). It's hard to believe.

I was watching the news and I heard them say there was at least a funnel cloud at Page and 94. Then Dorsett and 270. Heading toward St. Ann. Finally, I went to the basement. It veered slightly north, just enough to miss us. I am lucky. My whole family is lucky. The weird part is, that was by no means the worst storm I had ever been through. It didn't even seem like it was raining that hard. We didn't even get hail.

My sister drove from Lindenwood to her job on the Rock Road this morning, and she said it was much worse than she expected. In the light of day, I think it was much worse than most people expected. I haven't driven the Rock Road toward 70 yet, but apparently a few business were leveled there, too. The highway sign is wrapped around a tree. I think I'm going to take a drive in that general vicinity with my family tomorrow, at my sister's request. I'm bracing myself now. You always see that stuff on tv, but I imagine it has more impact when you see it in person just down the street. Those peoples' lives changed in a matter of minutes, even seconds. I know someone whose roof and back wall of the house was torn off.

A couple of my friends called to check on me, which was really nice. Both of them were former roommates, one who lives out of town and one that I hadn't even talked to in a while. I was pleasantly surprised, but to be honest, after I heard from them I kind of wondered why I didn't hear from anyone else. Spoiled, I guess. Maybe no one knew I was that close? Sure, let's go with that. Anyway, I am fine. I don't know why, but I think there are more tornadoes like that in store for us this year. (Well, the end of the world comes any day now, I think, right?) Maybe tornadoes are like lightning in that they don't really strike the same place twice? I mean, I was close enough. It should bother someone else next time. Sure, let's go with that.

Yay, hippies!

It's Monday already? I was hoping the weekend wouldn't end. Oh well, at least I'm off on Friday. It's my first full day off this year (we skipped right over MLK and President's Day) and as much as I like my job, it is definitely time for a break. Good Friday happens to land on Earth Day this year, and the only "problem" with that is it means that attending the lunchtime yoga under the arch event that day is much more inconvenient. I still might go because I miss yoga. I also miss dancing, but I think I always miss dancing if I'm not doing it every week. Maybe modern dance will be my next venture. I've never tried it, but for some reason, lately I'll hear a song and think "this could be perfect for modern dance." It's like interpretive dance with some ballet technique. I'll go ahead and pencil those things in somewhere between taiko, softball, and aerial arts. :-/

I digress. I meant to talk about the Earth Day Festival and other festivities at Forest Park and was side-tracked by dancing. There was plenty of dancing at the festival, though, too. We watched the belly dancers and danced to the raggae band. I wish I had worn my hippie skirt. I didn't even remember to wear anything with a peace sign on it! Oh wait, I was wearing something with a peace sign on it, but it wasn't visible. I guess that just proves my closet hippie status. The festival was surprisingly crowded, too, with "free spirits" and regular people alike.

Mick and I packed a picnic (his idea!) and we ate the sandwiches/snacks and drank the wine on a paddle boat (his idea again!). We also fed the ducks as they swam next to us. He made sandwiches with fake lunch meat because he's a vegetarian and that's all he had, but it was surprisingly good! My vegan/dancer co-worker has also been introducing me to some good alternatives to meat and dairy, and I'm slowly being converted. Now, I'm not saying I will be a full-blown vegetarian (how would I live without chicken?!), but it's not a bad idea to adopt some of those habits. In fact, I surprised myself and bought more vegetables than usual and light chocolate soy milk today (along with regular milk). It can't hurt.

After the paddle boats, he taught me how to play racquetball at the racquetball courts, we tossed around a frisbee, and we played catch to help me practice for Thursday's softball game. He bought a softball just for the ocassion (and let me keep it) and threw some pop flies and grounders. I'm still nervous about the game, but I'll probably do fine. Oh! And on the way home, we stopped by the carnival at Wash U. and rode a few rides. Carnival rides and wine should not be mixed. I wasn't feeling so great for the next half hour, but then I was fine. We were exhausted by the end of everything, but it was basically a perfect day.

It's official, I am smitten. I could go on and on, but I'll just say that he's adorable and he's pretty fond of me, too. We kind of make me sick. :-P (I know that sounds like an improper sentence, but if you think about it for a second it should make sense.) He actually makes me want to be a better person, and I never feel guilty or wrong for being a pretty good person already--I realize that second part shouldn't even make sense, but to me it does.

Which reminds me (because I almost forgot!), this morning I picked up my bike from what's his name's place, without having to see him. :-D And that, children, concludes the most tumultuous, confusing chapter of my life so far (2008-Now). I believe I'll call it "Growing Pains." Good riddance. Hopefully, this chapter will be something like "Graduation."

It's in the cards

While I think fortune telling and things like that are fun, I don't put much stock into them. The few times I've participated in tarot readings, though, they've been spot on. Maybe they're so vague that they could apply to anyone, but I stumbled on this "past, present, future" reading and it resonates so well that it's kind of spooky. The "present" and "future" already seem intertwined.

Nine of Swords - Reversed In the Past position A card in the left position indicates what has happened to affect your question in the past. Meaning: Shame. An imposter. A state of denial. Unrequited love. Cruel gossip.

Three of Cups In the Present position A card in the middle position indicates what is affecting your question at this time. Meaning: Celebration. Thanksgiving. Shared happiness. Pleasure and satisfaction. Enrichment of friendships. Support, encouragement. Excitement and play. Enjoying arts and talents. Luck, excitement, and momentum. Goodwill and humour. The doubling effect of success shared. The joy of artistic collaboration. Romantic fun. The freshness of spring. Gratitude and good health.

Four of Wands In the Future position A card in the right position indicates your questions future. Meaning: Repose after difficulty. A prize. Unexpected celebration. Social events. Romance and fertility. Virtue, vigilance, and restraint are rewarded. Tide turned in one's favour. Solid foundation for the future. Alliances and friendship. Sharing. Relief. On a deeper level, the card represents equilibrium and achieving a state of balance, peace, and contentment after a long ordeal. Gratitude. Emotional and psychological well-being.

Planning nothing

All day I felt like I was forgetting something, but I've come to the conclusion that the only thing I "forgot" to do was have plans for tonight. I actually planned on not having plans, which is a conscious effort. I'm guessing it's the other way around for most people (making plans as opposed to non-plans). This is nice, I guess. I only did one tiny taiko thing and I'm taking a break from some of the design stuff. Was it wrong for me to say it's hard to make it priority when I have other jobs outside of work that pay me? :-/ Well, I'm sorry but it's true. If I asked you to do your professional job for free in addition to the 45 hours you already spend on it, you probably wouldn't be thrilled, either--especially when it's for the hobby that already takes up the largest chunk of your "free" time. But would you really want to let someone else do "your job?" That's my dilemma. I love design and taiko, but I spend most of time on them already! I'd like to say that you get what you pay for, but I'll suck it up and do my best--just not without some whining. Oh, my new work blog post sort of applies here, I think (making decisions on a whim, 5ish taiko "clients" misdirecting, etc.). Baby steps. I'm warming up to it, but I must say that taiko is my worst client. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

I thought I could watch "How I Met Your Mother" for once, but the stupid basketball game is on. And two hours of "Dancing with the Stars," seriously? I can't even stomach 10 minutes, which is strange, considering my obsession with dance. I used to think it was because it was ballroom dancing and I don't know much about it, but I just realized it probably has more to do with the fact that half the people on the show are not actually dancers! I can tell, maybe even subconsciously, and it bothers me. Some of them might be naturally good dancers or have some training, but I haven't watched it long enough to see them.

In other news, I'm participating in a study for left- and mixed-handed people at SLU on Wednesday. A friend of a friend is doing her dissertation on the link between memory and people with non-dominant right hands. I actually think I lean toward the mixed-handed category, since I can switch hands pretty easily and normally test as "whole-brained," as opposed to left or right. I'm not sure what this study is trying to prove, but I think I have a pretty good visual memory, at least. I also think I tend to remember people in terms of broad strokes/impressions, but I can sometimes remember bits and pieces of information or conversations in great detail. Some have said my memory in personal relationships is too good, but it might be that theirs is either really horrible or they were doing things that shouldn't be remembered. I try to pick up tidbits of information from everyone I meet, though. I'm actually interested in knowing more about them and life in general, so I hate when I forget those things. Now, just don't ask me to remember names or historical details. Good thing I'm going to trivia afterward! ;)

This blog still counts as "nothing," by the way. I actually made dinner, posted a taiko event to facebook, and caught up on some news. I guess I can do that when I'm home all night. I could almost get used to this...like, once or twice a week--three nights if I'm really crazy.

Oh, and I've had "It's hard out here for a pimp" in my head all day, for no particular reason (aside from the obvious). Ha, enjoy: