Haka what?

Mondays are officially my favorite day of the work week because of Toastmasters and Italian class..and coming soon, poi! I think I only have two more sessions of Italian class and I have learned a lot already. I'm going to miss it. Starting next Monday, I'm going to a poi class between work and Italian! It's not worth it for me to drive home and back to Meremac in 2 hours, so I had been killing time by eating dinner, playing with my ipod, reading, and talking on the phone. In theory, I can do that stuff any time, though; poi, on the other hand, doesn't just come along every day. It's literally only 5 minutes away from Meremac, too (at Laumeier Sculpture Park), which is perfect. Months ago, I was considering fire poi, but I have to start somewhere, right? Check it out. Now, imagine that with fire! ;) Yes, I am crazy.

My sister and I saw poi dancing in New Zealand as part of the haka ("war dance") demonstration, and apparently that's where it originated. It came from New Zealand's indigenous Maori tribe and it was used to scare off opponents. The rugby teams, to this day, basically have a dance-off before every game, which is awesome!



I wish American football teams would start doing that--it would be the only part worth watching. Check out the replay of that guy on the All Blacks team, too. That face means "I'm going to eat you and you will be delicious!" Classic. The announcer is referring to totem poles like the one to the right.

It just occurred to me that I didn't really share much of this knowledge with anyone for a long time after this trip (if ever) because I was too distracted from the layoff that immediately followed it.

Speaking of layoffs, I got a random call from one of my old creative directors today! I hadn't seen or heard from him in forever and he was calling to ask if I was available to help him with some freelance. I almost let out an audible "aww" when I heard his message and then I talked to him before class tonight. He is such a good guy and it was really good to hear from him. He had been at Momentum longer than almost anyone there and he was one of several coworkers that took me under his wing, but he was laid-off, too. As we were catching up and I was telling him about my life post-layoff, I was actually pretty proud of myself. It almost blows my mind to consider everything I have done since then, everything that I couldn't do when I was burning myself out on work.

New Zealand (and the bungee jump there) was basically the turning point and it has become symbolic for me. The silver fern is the emblem of New Zealand. The Maori tribe has a symbol called a koru (spiral) that represents the unfurled new leaf of a silver fern. Ironically, that spiral represents new beginnings, growth, and harmony. I currently have a koru keychain on my keys, and I bought it in New Zealand because I was bracing myself for my own potential new beginning. That is exactly what followed--the growth and harmony stuff came later. Life has been nothing short of an adventure since then!

The art of living

"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." ~Havelock Ellis

I want to preserve that quote for myself here because it is the most important lesson I have learned over the past few years. Letting go of or holding onto something or someone is definitely a choice and something that you can (eventually) have control over. I think it might just take a strong will and practice, but maybe that's just me. I just know that you can still hold on to things after they are gone, but that it is completely futile and toxic to do so. Tethering yourself to the past restricts your enjoyment of the present and movement into the future. There's no way around it. I also know that you can let go of things before they are gone, and sometimes that is also a necessity. This random quote was another little reminder.

Vorrei una bottiglia di vino

Italian class went pretty well. I'm having flashbacks of Spanish, which makes it easier to learn. I kept wanting to speak Spanish in Japan, anyway, which isn't even close. At least if I want to speak Spanish in Italy, it will almost make sense. Plus, the teacher is telling us about things that we might encounter in Italy, which is nice. After one class, I know how to order wine, beer, and pizza as well as how to ask where to find the bar (same word, only it's more of a coffee place than our bar), so I'm pretty much set. ;) Oh! Fun fact: "panini" is actually the plural form of "sandwich" in Italian and "panino" is singular. Also, "bruschetta" is actually pronounced "brusketta."

Toastmasters was not as fun, mostly because I had to listen to way too many speeches go off on a tangent about health care reform or the president. I forgot that I worked with a slew of Sarah Palin supporters. The topic could be something like "If you could have any job for a day, what would it be?" and the answer would be "I would be President, because nowadays they don't have to listen to the people and they can do whatever they want." Other people were sneaking in things like "the last administration had it right because they lowered taxes after 9/11 to stabilize the economy." They failed to mention the whole...impact of starting a war against the wrong country, for example, although that seems like a rather large omission. Everything they said about Obama are the same things I could say about Bush, which was amusing. That would have been the perfect time to make my speaking debut, huh? At least it would have made an impression. The main speaker even talked about the fact that there are two sides (and biases) to every story and you need to hear both of them to develop sound opinions. I could almost hear them thinking along the lines of "good thing Fox News is fair and balanced."

Speaking of politics, sort of, I just came across this quote from Michelle Obama about her relationship to Barack: "I think we have a wonderful marriage. I love my husband. He's my best friend. But I always like to talk honestly about it because I think about other young couples who think there are no struggles to get here. And there are. That's part of it. The message is—work through the struggles. Start out with somebody that you respect and that you trust so that when you hit the bumps that are inevitable you always have that foundation. I tell Barack as mad as he can make me I look at him and I say, 'I really LIKE you. I like you. and I like the way you think and I like the person you are.' It's hard to stay mad too long, when the person is someone you like." I think that's sweet. And important.

I'm almost looking forward to tomorrow, I think. I mean, I hope I have a reason to look forward to tomorrow. Curiosity got the best of me and I bought a bottle of chocolate wine recently, so at the very least, I should consider opening that bottiglia di vino.

A case of the Mondays

It was really nice to get away for the weekend. The two hour drive (each way) helped clear my head and once I got there, I caught up with Sarah. I got my dress, too! I think I'm okay now, just not quite back to normal. For example, when I got home, my next door neighbor was outside and asked me how I was doing. I answered "Alright, how are you?" and he responded, "Alright, I guess." Normally, this would have sparked an additional response from me, like maybe, "You guess?", but I decided I wasn't in the mood to hear the explanation. I don't know him that well, anyway, but that usually doesn't matter. There's a saying that goes, "Friends are those rare people that ask you how you are and then wait for the answer." I wait for the answer no matter who it is, but it seems like most people will just say something like "fine," whether it's true or not. I hate those times when I have to lie about it. "Alright" was not a lie, though. "Fine" would be kind of pushing it. I think I'll get there soon, though. I've been full of revelations lately.

I plan on continuing this little break into Tuesday by taking a day off of taiko. I haven't missed a weekday practice since the leader took a break a couple months ago, although I probably should have once or twice because of a cold. Practice will be fine without me. As long as we keep breaking things down and drilling them, I am more than happy to lay low. I wish we had enough people there on a regular basis to break into smaller groups, though. I want people to learn things at their skill level, but that only works if there are enough people and resources to warrant it. Basically, my goal was to raise the bar on what should be considered "performance level" and I think we are doing that. I'm not totally sure that everyone sees it that way, though. "Learning new stuff" shouldn't be much of a concern if you haven't nailed the basics first. Isn't that a given when you learn anything? I think that's especially important in music and dance, too.

Speaking of basics, I'm starting an Italian class tomorrow after work! I think the class only meets four times total, but I will at least know more than the nothing that I know right now. The book is called Italian In 10 Minutes A Day and it comes with a cd. The problem is, they fail to mention how many days. Ha. I could probably learn this on my own, but the class gives me more motivation. I took Spanish for 4 years, too, so I'm hoping Italian is similar enough that I can learn something useful in a relatively short time. The trip is less than 3 months away! Oh wow, there's so much to do between now and then. My first order of business is to take a deep breath, smile, and get some rest. I suppose the second order of business must be...going back to business. I think I'm starting to like Mondays, though.

Mondays at lunch I've been sitting in on a Toastmasters meeting, a service offered through work. It's basically a speech class, which is good, in theory. I'm not officially in it yet, but once I join, I will start by giving a speech about myself. I should have that covered, since I know myself. Sometimes it's uncanny how well I know other people, too. I would even say that occasionally, I know others better than they know themselves, but it's practically impossible to broach that subject without sounding presumptuous.

Keen intuition is both an asset and a liability, but I guess those things come with the territory. You know, sometimes I really feel like The Giver, from that book that I read in 6th grade. Hmm, maybe it's time to read that again. The Giver, 1984, Brave New World...now that's the kind of sci fi that I can get into. Right now, though, I just want to get into bed. Good night!

Oddly cool

The weekend is over already? Bleh. It's even an hour shorter! I completely forgot the time change even happened until around 3pm today, too. My phone changes automatically and I didn't notice the time difference in my car. Actually, maybe the sooner this weekend is over, the better. I'm looking forward to St. Patrick's Day and I don't even have plans yet. Maybe I'll just go to an Irish pub...and wear my kelly green skirt that I reserve specifically for that day. Crap, I still have to find it. I put it in a "special place," I think.

I saw "Alice In Wonderland" last night and I wasn't sure what to expect going in, but I kind of liked it. The 3D was secondary but cool, anyway. I'm glad more movies are being made in 3D because sometimes just that makes it worth seeing. I wonder what happens when they come out on DVD, though. Are they still in 3D? I'm practically the last person in the country that hasn't seen Avatar, but the 3D element might make me cave. That doesn't mean I suddenly approve of their use of Papyrus, though.

My only knowledge of the Alice In Wonderland story, really, comes from the cartoon Disney movie. Even as a kid, it seemed a little too far out for me. Now I know that it's basically one big drug trip and although I'm intrigued by that, I can't say I enjoy the plot...if there is a plot, really. I feel the same way about Fantasia and Peter Pan, in some ways.

Truth be told, I feel that way about most films that involve some kind of alternate universe. The Lord of the Rings guy was tripping on mushrooms when he wrote the series, for example, and that's the only part of the movies that I can seem to wrap my head around. Like, "Ohhh, this is what it's like to be high." I've never done drugs, but in cases like that, it feels like I need them just to understand half of what is going on.

You know who doesn't seem to need drugs for that, though? People that attend anime conventions. Yep, taiko performed at one yesterday. It was interesting. Sure, many of the attendants are collective misfits, but at least they're not trying to hide it. Generally, I bet they're probably pretty good people, and I would rather hang out with authentic geeks than fake "cool" kids any day. I think society's idea of what should be popular is skewed, anyway. In high school, "cool" kids seem to have what a number of people deem the "right" clothes, friends, possessions and hobbies, but if it makes them phony, I don't think that's cool at all. My definition of cool is an open-minded person who treats everyone with respect and has the courage to do his or her own thing, regardless of majority approval. I think being fake is actually much worse than being weird...obviously. I like to think I'm a rather cool weird person, at least, and that those two things don't have to be at odds. In my experience, the coolest people are usually the ones that tend to do their own thing.

Someone that I've only met once or twice but who "friended" me on facebook is a lesbian who recently married her girlfriend at a Unitarian Universalist church (in Iowa). Awesome--to top it off, they had a rainbow cake and rainbow roses. (Look, how cool is that?!) The fact that the ceremony took place in that church prompted me to look the religion up online again. I found a location in the Central West End and I'm not interested in going back to church at the moment, but I might check them out at some point. This is partially how they describe themselves and it seems to fit me perfectly: "Ours is a free faith. Members of the congregation have committed themselves to a never-ending quest, rather than to any dogma or common set of beliefs about the ineffable mysteries of existence. The two great principles of our faith are freedom and tolerance—individual freedom of belief, and respect for the beliefs of those who differ from us. We take this religion so seriously that no church in our denomination, anywhere in the world, may say to a prospective member, 'This you must believe.' As a result, you will find a wide diversity of thought, feeling, interest, and concern here. You may even find yourself wondering how, with such differences, we remain bound together. Our answer was made over four hundred years ago by one of the first Unitarians, Francis David. He said, 'You need not think alike to love alike.' Here you will find a place where you will be welcomed and included regardless of your race, gender, affectional orientation, age, or family status."

And this: "We believe that personal experience, conscience, and reason should be the final authorities in religion. In the end, religious authority lies not in a book, person, or institution, but in ourselves. We put religious insights to the test of our hearts and minds. We affirm the worth of all women and men. We believe people should be encouraged to think for themselves. We know people differ in their opinions and lifestyles, and we believe these differences generally should be honored. We seek to act as a moral force in the world, believing that ethical living is the supreme witness of religion. The here and now and the effects our actions will have on future generations deeply concern us. We know that our relationships with one another, with diverse peoples, races, and nations, should be governed by justice, equity, and compassion." Freedom, tolerance, morality and community--shouldn't those be the main cornerstones of a religion?! Why have so many of them lost their way? Greed and power seems to be overtaking the Catholic Church, I think, and I am so tired of its hypocrisy. It's not that I'm entirely against religion, but I am against the way it tells people what to think and believe and how to judge everyone else. Unitarian Universalism seems to be the opposite of a traditional religion--calling it a religion is almost an oxymoron.

I'm such a hippie. Scratch that, I'm more of an individual than anything else. If that makes me weird, so be it.

My (almost) last stand

This has been one dramatic week. Actually, that's kind of an understatement. It was completely gut-wrenching, unpredictable, enlightening and amazing, almost in that order. It turns out that if you try to bury something that's not dead, it will come back to haunt you until you find closure. Okay, I knew that already (hello 2008), but closure is not exactly something that you can teach someone else. Months and months of nagging intuition and gentle guiding culminated in a theoretical fight to the finish, a last stand. Ironically, I think both sides won. An incredible burden has been lifted and most of my hunches, good and bad, have been confirmed. I was seriously having doubts that I would ever see that day. I guess sometimes you just have to almost lose something to know what you have.

This week reminded me that I am no stranger to loss and I think because of that, I have learned when to hold on and when to let go. Life hangs in that balance, after all. The circumstances that create a loss might be out of your control, but how you handle it is entirely up to you--it's best to appreciate the experience, learn from it, and move on. End of story. Easier said than done, I know, but clinging to the past makes it impossible to fully live in the present and open yourself up to the future.

I also realized that sometimes I need to stop asking what I can do for everyone else and start asking what they can do for me. It's a little hard for me to even write that because I am just not programmed that way. Helping other people helps me. Once in a great while, though, I reach a point where I know that I am being taken for granted and I put my foot down. This time, I didn't have to lift the other foot and walk away.

I could go on forever about the things that this week reminded me about myself and my take on the world. At the ripe old age of...25, I seemed to have gained enough wisdom, strength, and good friends to get me through whatever life throws at me.