It's technically not "ranting" if it's written down

I should be doing something productive. I like to think that in it's own way, writing is productive. It helps clear my head and organize my thoughts, at least. Of course, I should really be organizing my house, but this is more fun. Oh wait! I can do work on my sister's present right here at the computer. I'm recreating a $40 Usher concert t-shirt, because I can't bring myself to spend $40 on a t-shirt that I could make myself. Ooh, designing t-shirts could be a fun little side job...as long as it's not for taiko. Since I get paid to design for 40+ hours a week, I'm not that motivated to work at home for free. I'd rather be a creative director (a.k.a. supervisor) for the science and computer people in taiko that think that's fun. (Designing is fun when it doesn't consume your life.) Besides, if I am designing for free, I'd rather do it for someone that appreciates it, like my sister. I will be very surprised if designing for taiko is on the leader's new list of taiko "chores" that will substitute for paying a monthly due. It deserves to be on there as much as anything else, though, so I will make sure that it's added. At least I'll be more more motivated to do the big 25th anniversary stuff, I think.

That reminds me, I had a frustrating face-to-face meeting with a client last week. I designed a web cam page for The Confluence, but I was restricted to doing something that matched the rest of the site and pushed them toward a new, totally revamped site design at the same time. It's hard to do both, but considering the restrictions, I thought I did a good job...originally. Then they suggested changes, so after shaking my head and explaining why those were bad ideas (to the account person/middle man), I did them. Well, those changes were the problems that she wanted to meet with me about! Even the person that designed the rest of the site (who was not there) criticized the parts that ended up being her own design after the requested changes. At the end of the meeting, the client asked how I envisioned it without their suggestions, and as I was describing it, the account person pulled out my original design. I talked her through it and that solved all the problems that they created. We are reverting back to that design! There are well thought-out reasons behind every design decision that I make. I understand that sometimes you need to see it to understand that, but it's easier and cheaper if you just trust me. I think she will now. She was a new client, anyway.

I digress. This wasn't supposed to be a ranting post, but I probably needed to get that out. The thoughts that I really need to organize and decipher are not things that I should broadcast here, though. Let's just say that I am confused and conflicted. Every day uncovers new information to be studied.

Tonight is the Wiese family Christmas party, and I'm not particularly looking forward to it. We don't all fit that well at my grandpa's house, especially since my cousins' kids just keep multiplying, growing up and occupying more space! I remember when we could all sit in chairs around the living room. I kind of like big families, but I feel so disconnected to that side these days. Two families live in Kansas City, my cousins in St. Louis are married with kids, and one of my aunts has decided that she doesn't like my mom and we keep our distance. That aunt reminds me of the ringleader in Mean Girls and she was probably the same person in high school. I swear my mom has never done or said anything mean to this aunt, but oh, she would love to give her a piece of her mind. My aunt knows that she could, too, and I think that's the real reason behind all of it. No one else would dare to stand up to this aunt. You know, even though many people assume "the quiet ones" are pushovers, I most definitely am not. I get my strong will and sass from my mommy...and I appreciate her for that now.

The situation with my aunt and mom is sad, though, because when Grandma Wiese was in the hospital, they both spent so much time at the (understaffed) hospital for months taking care of her--more time than anyone else. They split responsibilities and seemed to bond over that. Several years later, when my grandpa was in the hospital for a few days, my aunt showed up really late to relieve my mom and dad's long "shift." I think my mom complained a little to my dad and my aunt just went off on how that surely means my mom doesn't like my grandpa, etc. It's like she lost perspective and never found it again, but I think she was just looking for a reason to blame my mom for parts of her unhappiness. My aunt's mood affects the tone of these parties, so I hope she's bringing a good mood tonight. It's almost time to go! Wish us luck.

p.s. It's been 10 years since my grandma died, but I still miss her at Christmas every year.

What, no Papyrus?

This is a handy little diagram. Note the lack of terrible font options...but wait! Comic sans is hiding in a dark, far away thread to the right.

Treading deeper water

I was tired earlier. Wait, what am I saying? I'm still tired now, but sleep is for wimps. Actually, I think I just have too many thoughts swirling in my head to sleep. They're probably not even that compelling, but I'm going to share some of them, anyway, in typical bullet style:

• The tree decorating contest at work ends tomorrow! I'm decorating it with white lights, red and gold mardi gras beads as garland, red disco balls and silver and gold ornaments. Plus, I'm putting a little snowman on top and wrapping the bottom (big red planter) in wrapping paper. It might not win, but it's pretty, anyway. Maybe I'll take a picture...with my iphone, because I for real need to find that chord that connects my camera and computer still.

• Nothing like waiting until the last minute for Christmas shopping! Ugh, I've been such a slacker, or rather, I've been decorating, schmoozing, and baking things for Christmas instead of buying much of anything. Crap. Speaking of which, I have to both make and buy something tomorrow for work on Thursday. Fantastic.

• More people tend to die around the holidays than at any other time, and three of my friends have lost either an aunt, uncle, or brother-in-law suddenly in the last few weeks. It sucks and I hate that there's not too much that I can do for them.

• Okay, Justin Bieber is 16. Why hasn't his voice changed yet?

• Around midnight last night, I discovered that after you accidentally cover your hands in something like gorilla glue, you should soak them in acetone and scrub them (without soap!). I found out secondhand, but I didn't even think I needed to know that before.

• I wonder if I should start believing in "signs" again, or if they're too conflicting to matter, anyway. Sometimes there are too many ways to spin it.

• I was just thinking, "I guess I'll go with the flow" and then my mind wandered to this mailroom part in Elf. Mailroom guy: "I gotta go with the flow man....No! I've gotta get out of the flow, that's what got me here. I mean I'm 26 years old, and I've got nothing to show for it." That's not entirely true, but in many ways, it seems almost eerily appropriate.

• I'm afraid that I'm often more loyal and understanding than I should be, and if the tables were turned, that would not be equally reciprocated. In fact, I've seen that happen in several friendships/relationships and somehow I'm always surprised. Is it them or me? Are they giving me the normal, expected amount of consideration and I'm the one going overboard? I suspect that the answer borders on "yes," and that's kind of upsetting.

• I think I honestly care about the general well-being of pretty much all of humanity, and it's not a very efficient or even necessarily healthy way to be. Evolution says that I should really only look out for myself and my closest "tribe," so to speak, but I want to look out for everyone. Of course I'm upset when I see or hear about freak accidents or people disrespecting each other, but sometimes I am more upset by people disrespecting themselves on basic levels (low self-esteem, abusing drugs, bad health habits, promiscuity, etc.). After all, you are the only thing that you can really control on any significant level. I can't respect yourself for you and you can't rely on other people to fill that gap, either. It seems like it all has to start from within and flourish from there.
  

Well, that gradually got deeper than I had planned. Oh, and there's so much more, but it's already past midnight so I'll have to cut it "short."

Diagnosis: Graphic Designer

I wrote this fun little blog post for work. It's almost a PSA. Don't let this happen to you! :)

'Tis the season for sickness

Well, the last few days didn't go quite as planned, but I'm okay with that. I'm really glad I made cookies for the cookie party on Thursday because even if I had found the time later, I wouldn't have had the motivation. It took longer than I thought, but I also made twice as much as I needed. I tend to do that when I finally get around to baking, but I literally have to schedule time for it or it will never happen. Baking and cooking are for people that are home on a regular basis, I think. My "regular" time at home before 10pm is Saturday and Sunday (daytime) and about every other Wednesday, so...limited. I don't like when someone implies that I can't do it, though; it's just that it's not a priority and so I do other things instead. Did you know that you can keep cookies moist in a container for days just by adding a piece of bread, though? (The bread gets stale but the cookies don't.) I assumed that was common knowledge because I grew up with it, but now I'm second guessing that. It really works, though!

Friday started out well. We made paper weights at Third Degree Glass Factory with work, which brings my glass blowing project count to two paper weights and an ornament. I had a quick lunch in the Loop with Joel after that, since I was close. I had a headache all day, but it was manageable until after lunch. Then, I started feeling especially miserable and actually threw up an hour after I got back to the office! I never get sick like that, so I still don't know if it was because of lunch or actual sickness, but I left work to take a 4 hour nap, anyway. My consistent lack of sleep probably caught up with me. It was really nice to hear an account person say "Your health is more important than work," because when I threw up at Momentum, I went back to work and no one even encouraged me to leave! I left work early at Momentum unexpectedly once because of a work stress-induced migraine (and got sick as soon as I got home), and even then, I felt kind of guilty or like they didn't quite believe me. How crazy is that?!

Later that night, instead of going to the Jorts party, Joel brought me soup and we watched Elf. It was sweet, especially since I was just planning on locking myself away and eating...well, I hadn't thought of that yet. I don't have much here. Elf is one of my favorite movies and it also carries some significance in our relationship, which I had forgotten.

The headache lingered into Saturday, but it was mostly gone by Our Lady of the Snows. I swear it snows every time we're there. On Thanksgiving, my aunt asked us when we were going so she would know when to expect snow! Sure enough, here it is. We saw a lot of accidents on the way home, but we made it back okay. I'm not looking forward to the drive to work tomorrow morning, though. At least I have new tires!

Parties and presents

I have a feeling that work is going to crawl by while the rest of my life whirls past this month. I have too many parties and not enough time! Last weekend I went to a "Finer Things" party dressed as Audrey Hepburn from Breakfast At Tiffany's. I just remembered that I had a similar dress and then I bought accessories (gloves, tiara, necklace), so it looks like I already have a Halloween costume for next year. This Friday a coworker is having a Jingle Bell Jorts (jean shorts) party. I think it's a revival of one of his old party themes with a Christmas twist this time, so we have to wear jean shorts with our holiday garb...? There are jorts-themed games and indoor Christmas caroling, I think. Um, don't ask me. I'm going to a Cookie Party Saturday afternoon and then Saturday night I'm staying at Our Lady of the Snows with my family. Next weekend is Christmas at my dad's side and possibly an Ugly Sweater Party, and the week after that is my work party and Christmas! Phew.

It's not just my weekends that are booked, either. I might skip taiko sometime just so I can have a night at home. I like Christmas, though. I'm not stressed, just busier than usual, which is hard to believe.

I don't remember the last time I could honestly say that life was boring and I don't like to be bored, anyway, but I do like stability and predictability on occasion. Something is always preventing that in some area of my life, though. I've learned that the only thing I can count on is change and that life is full of surprises, so I keep the future in mind but I live in the present. I don't really take anything for granted anymore, either. To quote Kung Fu Panda, of all things: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why it's called the present." :)

I like to do drawerings

I like to do "drawerings" and Illustrator is my friend, but I don't always get to do projects like that. We are kicking off the holiday season in a special edition of "Wine Wednesday" at work right about now, though, so they asked me to take a couple hours to make a simple calendar earlier today. It looks like a fun month of work! (They're giving us our own little trees to decorate, too!) I figured I'd just post the calendar instead of telling you what they were. Can you believe I'm actually showing you my work?!


Oh no! It's hard to read at this size. Well, some highlights are 3rd Degree Glass Factory, tree decorating contest, gift exchange/food day, and the Holiday Party! Speaking of which, I'm on my way to the one in the kitchen.