I was tired earlier. Wait, what am I saying? I'm still tired now, but sleep is for wimps. Actually, I think I just have too many thoughts swirling in my head to sleep. They're probably not even that compelling, but I'm going to share some of them, anyway, in typical bullet style:
- The tree decorating contest at work ends tomorrow! I'm decorating it with white lights, red and gold mardi gras beads as garland, red disco balls and silver and gold ornaments. Plus, I'm putting a little snowman on top and wrapping the bottom (big red planter) in wrapping paper. It might not win, but it's pretty, anyway. Maybe I'll take a picture...with my iphone, because I for real need to find that chord that connects my camera and computer still.
- Nothing like waiting until the last minute for Christmas shopping! Ugh, I've been such a slacker, or rather, I've been decorating, schmoozing, and baking things for Christmas instead of buying much of anything. Crap. Speaking of which, I have to both make and buy something tomorrow for work on Thursday. Fantastic.
- More people tend to die around the holidays than at any other time, and three of my friends have lost either an aunt, uncle, or brother-in-law suddenly in the last few weeks. It sucks and I hate that there's not too much that I can do for them.
- Okay, Justin Bieber is 16. Why hasn't his voice changed yet?
- Around midnight last night, I discovered that after you accidentally cover your hands in something like gorilla glue, you should soak them in acetone and scrub them (without soap!). I found out secondhand, but I didn't even think I needed to know that before.
- I wonder if I should start believing in "signs" again, or if they're too conflicting to matter, anyway. Sometimes there are too many ways to spin it.
- I was just thinking, "I guess I'll go with the flow" and then my mind wandered to this mailroom part in Elf. Mailroom guy: "I gotta go with the flow man....No! I've gotta get out of the flow, that's what got me here. I mean I'm 26 years old, and I've got nothing to show for it." That's not entirely true, but in many ways, it seems almost eerily appropriate.
- I'm afraid that I'm often more loyal and understanding than I should be, and if the tables were turned, that would not be equally reciprocated. In fact, I've seen that happen in several friendships/relationships and somehow I'm always surprised. Is it them or me? Are they giving me the normal, expected amount of consideration and I'm the one going overboard? I suspect that the answer borders on "yes," and that's kind of upsetting.
- I think I honestly care about the general well-being of pretty much all of humanity, and it's not a very efficient or even necessarily healthy way to be. Evolution says that I should really only look out for myself and my closest "tribe," so to speak, but I want to look out for everyone. Of course I'm upset when I see or hear about freak accidents or people disrespecting each other, but sometimes I am more upset by people disrespecting themselves on basic levels (low self-esteem, abusing drugs, bad health habits, promiscuity, etc.). After all, you are the only thing that you can really control on any significant level. I can't respect yourself for you and you can't rely on other people to fill that gap, either. It seems like it all has to start from within and flourish from there.
Well, that gradually got deeper than I had planned. Oh, and there's so much more, but it's already past midnight so I'll have to cut it "short."
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