Amused

Ugh, is it really only Tuesday? Well, at least I'm pretty sure I'm going to do karaoke tomorrow, after happy hour with a friend. For real. Of course, it had to be on a Wednesday, when it's less crowded. I am promising a completely passable performance, though. Anyway, here are some things to help us get through the rest of the week:

-Recently, a woman was stopped at the border for wearing a live "brooch" beetle adorned with blue and gold jewels. She attached it to her clothing with a gold chain and safety pin and allowed it to wander around on her! Apparently, that type of beetle is ideal for clothing because their hairy legs stick to it like Velcro. Now, I like jewelry just as much as the next girl, but I will never willingly touch a live bug (or dead one), much less wear one. I don't care how bedazzled it is:


-I forgot about this video, but it's kind of funny. I'm posting it as a tribute to one of my best friend's wedding preparations, since I spent part of the weekend doing that stuff (although it's not gothic):


p.s. Bachelorette party preparations are already under way (that's my job)! Too bad I had to cancel the male stripper, though. ;)

-Oh, here's something that's kind of cute and creative.

-I had to check out Jersey Shore to see what the hype was all about, and it's about...a bunch of 20-something Italian-American douche bags/whores that spend their lives bar hopping, getting into fights, and sleeping around. One of the guys refers to his abs as "The Situation." Riveting. It's like the New Jersey version of The Hills, because I guess America is getting tired of west coast, snobby idiots. There's a girl that refers to herself as J-Woww, though, which is not an entirely bad idea, eh?

-

Taiko Tuesday

I was pretty pleased with practice tonight. I spent an hour correcting and drilling a song with the new kids and by the end they had really improved. It was great--I basically told them the what, why, and how of the parts they needed to fix, and then they fixed them, usually after the first try! That's kind of a big deal--not that they're the only ones in the group like that, but there are definitely a few old members that are particularly hard to teach or correct.

The new class is naturally pretty good, but I like to think the new teaching format has something to do with their progress, too. Learning songs too quickly and then repeating them over and over again with only occasional, vague corrections mostly just cements bad habits. It really is important to have someone watching and correcting specific details and then drilling them until they are right. Precision is all about disciplined details, after all. Splitting members into two groups is also helpful. I have been suggesting those techniques for a few months, at least, but I didn't have enough of an opportunity to really demonstrate them until now. Now that I'm occasionally "in charge," though, that is my focus. I have been slowly transitioning to something like this for a while, so I'm not sure that most people even really notice.

Breaking down dances into fragments and perfecting them worked well on dance team, so it should work well in taiko (sometimes dance teams are known as "drill teams," actually). The lack of mirrors at taiko shouldn't be a good excuse for sloppy choreography anymore, either, because I am now that mirror. In high school, the dance team didn't have mirrors and I essentially did the same thing there. We had them in college, but we started to rely on them too much. Besides, it's hard to play a drum and watch yourself at the same time--you naturally want to look at the drum and that's probably where you should be looking. With enough practice and bodily awareness, you can actually train yourself to feel when a movement is right or wrong, even if it's a new move, usually. I don't know how else to explain it. I like being a mirror for those that can't do that, though, especially when those people get better because of it.

As a side note, I was just wondering why some old members didn't originally think of me as one of the main teachers for tonight, but I also just realized that I have been making these suggestions and helping to plan practices almost solely with the leader and a couple other people only. As usual, it's been a behind-the-scenes deal and people assume other people are more heavily involved than I am. You know, it reminds me of this Lao Tzu quote: "A leader is best when people barely know he exists, not so good when people obey and acclaim him, worse when they despise him. But of a good leader who talks little, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: 'We did it ourselves.'" Hey, cool.

I don't really care about getting credit, anyway, but it does bother me if someone else takes undue credit in my place (which they haven't, I'm not saying that). Actually, I don't know how to take due credit for much of anything, even if I wanted it. I mean, I'm fine with demonstrating ideas, but I would never publicly announce something like, "This was my idea. Look at me!" Is that what other people do? Oh yeah, I guess so. Okay, that "look at me" part is usually implied, but even that first part seems a little too showy for me. Oh...I think this is what the psychologist was talking about. I'm just glad that my techniques seem to work, though. I love coming up with new, improved ways of doing things, and I think this is a good start. It has given me a new sense of purpose in taiko, too, which is something I really needed. Maybe it's not so bad that the leader is on hiatus for a while.

Myspace blog-June/July 2008

(Psst...the intro to these starts in March 2007)

The Good Life

July 21, 2008

Despite my lack of a job right now, life is good. I can do basically whatever I want when the mood strikes me and I can actually commit to seeing my friends during the week! That hasn't happened since college.

After that, work always seemed to come first, or at least that is what my actions implied. I stopped making plans during the week because I often worked late and just couldn't promise to show up anywhere else. Making it to taiko practice was hard enough already, but I really needed an obligation like that to tear me away from work.

In my heart, my friends and family have always been more important, but my job has always competed for my attention. I have a work ethic that just won't let me give less than 110% on everything--great for employers, not so great for my social life or overall well-being. It was hard to find a balance. I worked very hard, and in an attempt to balance that, I also played hard. Basically, I came dangerously close to burning out.

Maybe this break from work is a blessing in disguise. (I'm so tired of the "disguises" by the way, God. Clear-cut blessings are sooo much easier.) I am truly taking life as it comes, appreciating the little things, and just getting back to the basics. Somehow, despite all the crap that's been thrown at me lately, the good things are outnumbering the bad. It's pretty amazing.

So what have I been up to lately? I just got back from a taiko trip to Chicago yesterday (we played on the Millenium Park stage!), and I spent all day today reading by the pool, walking to Silky's for some free ice cream, and talking to friends and family. Pretty soon I'm meeting friends for dinner and The Dark Knight. Sure, I sound like a bum, but it doesn't get much better than this! I imagine this is what it's like to be retired, minus the arthritis and bifocals. Besides, I put in more than enough time at work already, maybe I should milk this time off for all that it's worth. I'll find another job soon enough; in the meantime, I have a lot of catching up to do...

Metamorphosis
June 22, 2008

Circumstances beyond my control have led me to this fork in the road, unfortunately, and Life anxiously awaits my decision. I don't know exactly where I am or where I will end up, but I know that my current spot is (happily) miles away from where I was just over two years ago. Those first few years in the real world were all about understanding and defining myself and my beliefs, and they have been the best years of my life so far. I made some tough decisions and did some things I never thought I would do, but I don't regret any of them. That period of my life can only be defined as a metamorphosis, and even though I hate to see it end, I am well prepared for this unexpected new beginning. It's probably time to really spread my wings, anyway; sometimes I just need that extra push to get going.

My trip to Australia, New Zealand, and Hawaii earlier this month is a good place to essentially start over. In this new chapter, though, I begin armed with an overwhelming amount of support from coworkers, friends, and family, which has helped me find a quiet confidence in my talents and potential. (I say "quiet" confidence, by the way, because I'd rather gradually show someone what I do than tell them. Think about it--if you have to tell someone you're awesome, are you really that awesome?). Despite everything that has gone wrong in the past few months, I trust that it is somehow for the best. It always seems to work out that way, inexplicably.

Myspace blog-April 2008

Thoughts of the week
April 28, 2008

This is a random peek inside my head, don't say I didn't warn you:

• What if the Burger King commercials with The (stalker) King are actually previews for the next big horror film?

• Why is the Subway "$5 Footlong" song so obnoxiously catchy and unavoidable?

• I apparently make a great substitute girlfriend or wife at parties or work functions; however, I do not make a great sugar substitute in your coffee. *eye roll*

• Maybe I should at least start giving guys points for creativity.

• I've noticed that without fail, I go for blond guys when I just want to have fun and brunettes when I'm considering something more serious. I wonder if that's a subconscious bias or if the blonds I meet really are more fun. Maybe they just seem like more of a novelty.

• Kangaroos in Australia roam around like deer in America?! We should trade, deer are boring.

• "What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?" - Mahatma Gandhi

• Those "W '04" stickers on cars used to get under my skin, but now I find them amusing. They are like scarlet letters--those people have to announce their bad decision to the world every day! I laugh to keep from crying. :)

• "In my more than three decades in the government, I've never witnessed such restrictions on the ability of scientists to communicate with the public." - Hansen, government scientist and leading researcher on global warming, in March 2006. Welcome back to the dark ages...

• I think today's economic recession (or "slow down," as the government likes to spin it) is essentially the result of a society that looked away and let incompetent leaders go unchecked until it was too late.

• The current presidential race is exposing a surprising amount of racial and gender divides in this "developed" country. I am especially disappointed in the news media for reinforcing the idea that petty, superficial prejudices and issues are more important than actual substance, such as the candidates' stance on real issues. I believe this phenomena is known as "The Paris Hilton Effect."

• Everyone has a wild side, but not everyone needs to know about it.

• The only one that deserves you is the one that thinks he doesn't.

• Materialism does not breed a culture of altruism.

• The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.

Myspace blog-March 2008

Heh, well what do you know? About three weeks later (after two weeks of vacation), I lost my job. About a week after that, I essentially started my most serious relationship. I guess you could say that I called...well, part of it. ;)

"Realize
March 31, 2008

Serious romantic relationships have never really been a priority for me. My excuse has always been that I’m just too busy to worry about it, and to an extent, that is true. I have always spent a good chunk of time on fun hobbies, friends and family, learning about and reflecting on the world, working toward a good career, and recently, establishing myself in the real world - essentially, I usually have something going on in my life that I deem more interesting and important than one particular guy. As a result, I have developed a strong sense of who I am and how I relate to and view the world, and I think I now have more to contribute to someone else.

I thought that being serious with someone would pull me away from the person I was trying to become; I’ve seen people basically give up their friends, hobbies, common sense :), etc., for a relationship, and I swore that would not happen to me. It turned me into somewhat of a commitment-phobe, and I walked away from potentially great relationships when they started to get too close or too comfortable. Sometimes I am too independent for my own good, but I think that the right guy would not let me go that easily, anyway.

I am discovering that I can keep my life and have a serious relationship at the same time, though, as long as he intends to do the same. I think that now I can actually start to focus more attention in that direction, too, since I have a promising starting point in the career and lifestyle I have been working towards for so long. In the next few weeks, I will be going through a big transitional period at work, and maybe this is the time for a transition in my personal life, too. After all, love is a vital part of life’s growth process, and I should finally put some effort into it.

You know how people say that you can’t love someone else until you love yourself? Well, I don’t think you can honestly love yourself until you truly know, accept and actively work to improve yourself, either. No one else is going to do that for you.

The song in my head is "Realize" by Colbie Caillat:

If you just realize
What I just realized
Then we’d be perfect for each other
And we’ll never find another
Just realize
What I just realized
We’d never have to wonder
If we missed out on each other, now

Take time to realize
Oh oh, I’m on your side
Didn’t I, didn’t I tell you
Take time to realize
This could all pass you by
Didn’t I tell you
But I can’t spell it out for you
No it’s never gonna be that simple
No I can’t spell it out for you"

Myspace blog-December 2007/January 2008

Scandalicious
January 15, 2008

The Religion Test
My Result: Unitarian Universalism

"While the Unitarian Universalists have mixed beliefs about the existence of God, they tend to share the belief that there is something to be learned from every world religion. By accepting differences between individual spiritual beliefs, Unitarian Universalists come together under a few broad and inclusive moral ideologies. They pass their beliefs from generation to generation through their church's literature and their teachings, both of which draw on many of the major spiritual texts from a variety of religions.

Typically open-minded and intellectual, Unitarian Universalists encourage individual exploration of many different spiritual truths. They also tend to be politically liberal."

I have never really heard of this, but I am glad it exists. Who am I or who is anyone to say that we have found the "one true religion" and anyone who disagrees is wrong? The path to enlightenment is different for everyone and religions are essentially various human interpretations of the same core beliefs. It gets messy only once people start applying labels and acting superior because of it. (Actually, the same thing can happen to someone with material wealth. Perhaps that really is a new religion. Talk amongst yourselves.) I don't care who or what you claim to be defending, any war or terrible thing that occurs in the "name of God/Allah/whatever" goes against the true message of that religion.

Religion should not be a means of manipulating others and pushing an alternative agenda. Consider everything we have let the Bush administration get away with because we wanted to restore "Christian values" and "dignity" to the White House. If we still truly held presidents accountable for their actions, Bush would have been impeached instead of re-elected in 2004. Lucky for him, as long as he plays the religion/morality card and does not cheat on his wife, he can cheat the country instead and blatantly disobey the Constitution. (Should I capitalize the H in "He" when referring to Bush?) It is so self-righteous and hypocritical. Since when is it more dignified and ethical to advocate a baseless war that continues to needlessly kill and severely disrupt hundreds of thousands of lives? My personal interpretation of pro-life, for example, extends beyond unborn American babies, to American soldiers, Iraqi civilians (men, women, children, babies alike), the poor and humanity at large. All religion and politics aside, shouldn't that be a basic human principle?


Taking Chances
January 13, 2008

As I glance at the past, I realize that certain parts of my life are mostly filled with "what if?" and "what might have been" because I talked myself out of them and moved on before I really gave them a chance. I always seemed to be waiting for that moment of 100% certainty and undeniable proof that I also knew, deep down, would never come.

My reasoning at the time has mostly crumbled into bullshit excuses. What was I so afraid of, and what was the big deal anyway? I am left with more questions than answers. Maybe I am finally accepting the fact that emotion cannot/should not always be grounded in logic and explained away; sometimes I just have to let go and jump in, as scary as that may sound. A new year symbolizes new beginnings, and this is the year that I consciously move beyond the potential and into the present. [2010 update--Yep, 2008 was that year.]

The tattoo on my forehead
December 19, 2007

This year was one of the most defining years of my life. The real world has allowed me to kind of flourish, and my job, car, apartment, and life in general are panning out nicely (politics and overall world issues excluded here for the sake of my eternal optimism)--it's about time! At first glance, I seem to be miles away from the person I was just last year, but I think I have actually just grown-up and grown into myself. I also discovered that (so-called) friends may not always understand the process, but sometimes the best thing to do is be honest, cut ties and move on.

Who I am today is essentially who I have always been inside, but now I am more established, confident, and eager to open up. My strong thoughts, feelings, and interests truly describe me, but often I keep those things hidden underneath my quiet exterior. It's kind of like...I know what's in my hand, why should I show all my cards at once? If someone else wants to know me, all they have to do is ask or show interest; otherwise, I actually like to listen to THEIR stories. (People I hardly know like to tell me personal things, too, which is usually fascinating but also perplexing.)

When I don't let people get to know me, though, I practically make them fill in the blanks and create who they think I am; it's as though I willingly accept a mask made of these strangers' opinions. "Quiet girl" is an aspect of my personality, yet it does not and should not define me. Yes, I will always be a quiet person (it is like a tattoo on my forehead, or rather a scarlet letter), but contrary to popular belief, that does not mean I will always be stuck inside this (deteriorating) "shell." Initially, these ideas seem to contradict, but so do many other aspects of my personality. Venture beyond the expected, and you will most likely find me there.

Myspace blog-September 2007

Easily Amused
September 22, 2007

Yay procrastination!

Your Superpower Should Be Mind Reading

You are brilliant, insightful, and intuitive. You understand people better than they would like to be understood. Highly sensitive, you are good at putting together seemingly irrelevant details. You figure out what's going on before anyone knows that anything is going on! Why you would be a good superhero: You don't care what people think, and you'd do whatever needed to be done Your biggest problem as a superhero: Feeling even more isolated than you do now

What Should Your Superpower Be?

What's Your Love Style?

The Woman Who Doesn't Need People (Much)

She's the type who likes time alone to seek out her own interests and hang out with friends. To someone enmeshed in this love style, romance has a place, an important one, but it's not the be-all and end-all of human existence. Best matchup: Man of Many Interests. You're ice skating with the girls; he's fly fishing with the guys. He doesn't need total togetherness, but the time you spend together is high quality. Potential pitfall: Trouble can brew if you start taking each other for granted. Keep time together loving and fun. And once in a while, pull out all the stops for romance.

....this is exactly right, for me anyway. I am glad (and a little surprised) that this "style" is even on the list because it seems like so many people are the "joined at the hip" type. A relationship should not BE your life, it should ENHANCE your life (ha, cue "Make Me Better" song). Or is that just me? I decided to post in case anyone else can relate.

Double true
September 10, 2007

The more I think about it, the more I realize that in most cases it is completely unnecessary and ridiculous to keep good thoughts and feelings inside. I mean, have you ever honestly felt bad after speaking from your heart and getting things out in the open; likewise, have you ever regretted hearing someone open up to you? I don't think you can or should ever feel bad about tactfully speaking your truth, and if someone else can't handle what you have to say, they are immature and not worth your time, anyway. At the very least they should appreciate your honesty. I love those heart-to-heart conversations, and I know I regret the things I kept to myself more than anything I said out loud.