Myspace blog-June/July 2008

(Psst...the intro to these starts in March 2007)

The Good Life

July 21, 2008

Despite my lack of a job right now, life is good. I can do basically whatever I want when the mood strikes me and I can actually commit to seeing my friends during the week! That hasn't happened since college.

After that, work always seemed to come first, or at least that is what my actions implied. I stopped making plans during the week because I often worked late and just couldn't promise to show up anywhere else. Making it to taiko practice was hard enough already, but I really needed an obligation like that to tear me away from work.

In my heart, my friends and family have always been more important, but my job has always competed for my attention. I have a work ethic that just won't let me give less than 110% on everything--great for employers, not so great for my social life or overall well-being. It was hard to find a balance. I worked very hard, and in an attempt to balance that, I also played hard. Basically, I came dangerously close to burning out.

Maybe this break from work is a blessing in disguise. (I'm so tired of the "disguises" by the way, God. Clear-cut blessings are sooo much easier.) I am truly taking life as it comes, appreciating the little things, and just getting back to the basics. Somehow, despite all the crap that's been thrown at me lately, the good things are outnumbering the bad. It's pretty amazing.

So what have I been up to lately? I just got back from a taiko trip to Chicago yesterday (we played on the Millenium Park stage!), and I spent all day today reading by the pool, walking to Silky's for some free ice cream, and talking to friends and family. Pretty soon I'm meeting friends for dinner and The Dark Knight. Sure, I sound like a bum, but it doesn't get much better than this! I imagine this is what it's like to be retired, minus the arthritis and bifocals. Besides, I put in more than enough time at work already, maybe I should milk this time off for all that it's worth. I'll find another job soon enough; in the meantime, I have a lot of catching up to do...

Metamorphosis
June 22, 2008

Circumstances beyond my control have led me to this fork in the road, unfortunately, and Life anxiously awaits my decision. I don't know exactly where I am or where I will end up, but I know that my current spot is (happily) miles away from where I was just over two years ago. Those first few years in the real world were all about understanding and defining myself and my beliefs, and they have been the best years of my life so far. I made some tough decisions and did some things I never thought I would do, but I don't regret any of them. That period of my life can only be defined as a metamorphosis, and even though I hate to see it end, I am well prepared for this unexpected new beginning. It's probably time to really spread my wings, anyway; sometimes I just need that extra push to get going.

My trip to Australia, New Zealand, and Hawaii earlier this month is a good place to essentially start over. In this new chapter, though, I begin armed with an overwhelming amount of support from coworkers, friends, and family, which has helped me find a quiet confidence in my talents and potential. (I say "quiet" confidence, by the way, because I'd rather gradually show someone what I do than tell them. Think about it--if you have to tell someone you're awesome, are you really that awesome?). Despite everything that has gone wrong in the past few months, I trust that it is somehow for the best. It always seems to work out that way, inexplicably.