Heh, well what do you know? About three weeks later (after two weeks of vacation), I lost my job. About a week after that, I essentially started my most serious relationship. I guess you could say that I called...well, part of it. ;)
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March 31, 2008
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March 31, 2008
Serious romantic relationships have never really been a priority for me. My excuse has always been that I’m just too busy to worry about it, and to an extent, that is true. I have always spent a good chunk of time on fun hobbies, friends and family, learning about and reflecting on the world, working toward a good career, and recently, establishing myself in the real world - essentially, I usually have something going on in my life that I deem more interesting and important than one particular guy. As a result, I have developed a strong sense of who I am and how I relate to and view the world, and I think I now have more to contribute to someone else.
I thought that being serious with someone would pull me away from the person I was trying to become; I’ve seen people basically give up their friends, hobbies, common sense :), etc., for a relationship, and I swore that would not happen to me. It turned me into somewhat of a commitment-phobe, and I walked away from potentially great relationships when they started to get too close or too comfortable. Sometimes I am too independent for my own good, but I think that the right guy would not let me go that easily, anyway.
I am discovering that I can keep my life and have a serious relationship at the same time, though, as long as he intends to do the same. I think that now I can actually start to focus more attention in that direction, too, since I have a promising starting point in the career and lifestyle I have been working towards for so long. In the next few weeks, I will be going through a big transitional period at work, and maybe this is the time for a transition in my personal life, too. After all, love is a vital part of life’s growth process, and I should finally put some effort into it.
You know how people say that you can’t love someone else until you love yourself? Well, I don’t think you can honestly love yourself until you truly know, accept and actively work to improve yourself, either. No one else is going to do that for you.
The song in my head is "Realize" by Colbie Caillat:
If you just realize
What I just realized
Then we’d be perfect for each other
And we’ll never find another
Just realize
What I just realized
We’d never have to wonder
If we missed out on each other, now
Take time to realize
Oh oh, I’m on your side
Didn’t I, didn’t I tell you
Take time to realize
This could all pass you by
Didn’t I tell you
But I can’t spell it out for you
No it’s never gonna be that simple
No I can’t spell it out for you"
I thought that being serious with someone would pull me away from the person I was trying to become; I’ve seen people basically give up their friends, hobbies, common sense :), etc., for a relationship, and I swore that would not happen to me. It turned me into somewhat of a commitment-phobe, and I walked away from potentially great relationships when they started to get too close or too comfortable. Sometimes I am too independent for my own good, but I think that the right guy would not let me go that easily, anyway.
I am discovering that I can keep my life and have a serious relationship at the same time, though, as long as he intends to do the same. I think that now I can actually start to focus more attention in that direction, too, since I have a promising starting point in the career and lifestyle I have been working towards for so long. In the next few weeks, I will be going through a big transitional period at work, and maybe this is the time for a transition in my personal life, too. After all, love is a vital part of life’s growth process, and I should finally put some effort into it.
You know how people say that you can’t love someone else until you love yourself? Well, I don’t think you can honestly love yourself until you truly know, accept and actively work to improve yourself, either. No one else is going to do that for you.
The song in my head is "Realize" by Colbie Caillat:
If you just realize
What I just realized
Then we’d be perfect for each other
And we’ll never find another
Just realize
What I just realized
We’d never have to wonder
If we missed out on each other, now
Take time to realize
Oh oh, I’m on your side
Didn’t I, didn’t I tell you
Take time to realize
This could all pass you by
Didn’t I tell you
But I can’t spell it out for you
No it’s never gonna be that simple
No I can’t spell it out for you"
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