Wake up call

I have been sort of distracted and reclusive since Sunday. The son of my good friend, Dave (from my old work), passed away in his sleep from unknown causes. He left behind a wife and 5-month-old son...on his 26th birthday, too. An untimely death always brings up a lot of questions and no good answers, and it once again makes me rethink all kinds of things.

I'm going to bypass the tricky "Why would God allow this to happen?" thing on here in favor of something a little easier: the law of karma. I used to believe in karma, but I'm beginning to think it is more of an exception than a rule. No one should have to go through anything like this, especially Dave. He is just an all-around good person and he could not have done anything to deserve this. (To make matters even worse, Momentum laid him off about a month ago.) My heart goes out to him, and it really bothers me that he is in so much pain.

I went to the wake because words just weren't enough, and I remembered how much that little gesture meant to me when my grandmas passed away. As a child, my parents used to drag me to the wakes of people that they knew but I usually didn't (living relatives of those people), and while I hated it at the time, it taught me to appreciate and understand the sentiment. Dave and I talked a little, but mostly hugged for quite a long time. He was basically my second father at work, the one who got my foot in the door there. He sent me a quick message on facebook tonight saying that it meant so much to him and apologizing that we didn't get to talk more (the line was ridiculously long!). I have been especially bemoaning the situation since then, and it has been on my mind all week, anyway. I can't imagine what he's going through.

It also puts things in perspective. His son had no history of problems, he was close to my age...it could happen to anyone. Even though 2008 has been one of the hardest years of my life, I have been constantly reminding myself that it could be worse. Sure, my timing was terrible, I lost "important" material possessions and in many ways, shed my old identity, but I still have so much to be thankful for. For starters, I'm still here, and so are you.

"You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now."~Joan Baez