Oddly cool

The weekend is over already? Bleh. It's even an hour shorter! I completely forgot the time change even happened until around 3pm today, too. My phone changes automatically and I didn't notice the time difference in my car. Actually, maybe the sooner this weekend is over, the better. I'm looking forward to St. Patrick's Day and I don't even have plans yet. Maybe I'll just go to an Irish pub...and wear my kelly green skirt that I reserve specifically for that day. Crap, I still have to find it. I put it in a "special place," I think.

I saw "Alice In Wonderland" last night and I wasn't sure what to expect going in, but I kind of liked it. The 3D was secondary but cool, anyway. I'm glad more movies are being made in 3D because sometimes just that makes it worth seeing. I wonder what happens when they come out on DVD, though. Are they still in 3D? I'm practically the last person in the country that hasn't seen Avatar, but the 3D element might make me cave. That doesn't mean I suddenly approve of their use of Papyrus, though.

My only knowledge of the Alice In Wonderland story, really, comes from the cartoon Disney movie. Even as a kid, it seemed a little too far out for me. Now I know that it's basically one big drug trip and although I'm intrigued by that, I can't say I enjoy the plot...if there is a plot, really. I feel the same way about Fantasia and Peter Pan, in some ways.

Truth be told, I feel that way about most films that involve some kind of alternate universe. The Lord of the Rings guy was tripping on mushrooms when he wrote the series, for example, and that's the only part of the movies that I can seem to wrap my head around. Like, "Ohhh, this is what it's like to be high." I've never done drugs, but in cases like that, it feels like I need them just to understand half of what is going on.

You know who doesn't seem to need drugs for that, though? People that attend anime conventions. Yep, taiko performed at one yesterday. It was interesting. Sure, many of the attendants are collective misfits, but at least they're not trying to hide it. Generally, I bet they're probably pretty good people, and I would rather hang out with authentic geeks than fake "cool" kids any day. I think society's idea of what should be popular is skewed, anyway. In high school, "cool" kids seem to have what a number of people deem the "right" clothes, friends, possessions and hobbies, but if it makes them phony, I don't think that's cool at all. My definition of cool is an open-minded person who treats everyone with respect and has the courage to do his or her own thing, regardless of majority approval. I think being fake is actually much worse than being weird...obviously. I like to think I'm a rather cool weird person, at least, and that those two things don't have to be at odds. In my experience, the coolest people are usually the ones that tend to do their own thing.

Someone that I've only met once or twice but who "friended" me on facebook is a lesbian who recently married her girlfriend at a Unitarian Universalist church (in Iowa). Awesome--to top it off, they had a rainbow cake and rainbow roses. (Look, how cool is that?!) The fact that the ceremony took place in that church prompted me to look the religion up online again. I found a location in the Central West End and I'm not interested in going back to church at the moment, but I might check them out at some point. This is partially how they describe themselves and it seems to fit me perfectly: "Ours is a free faith. Members of the congregation have committed themselves to a never-ending quest, rather than to any dogma or common set of beliefs about the ineffable mysteries of existence. The two great principles of our faith are freedom and tolerance—individual freedom of belief, and respect for the beliefs of those who differ from us. We take this religion so seriously that no church in our denomination, anywhere in the world, may say to a prospective member, 'This you must believe.' As a result, you will find a wide diversity of thought, feeling, interest, and concern here. You may even find yourself wondering how, with such differences, we remain bound together. Our answer was made over four hundred years ago by one of the first Unitarians, Francis David. He said, 'You need not think alike to love alike.' Here you will find a place where you will be welcomed and included regardless of your race, gender, affectional orientation, age, or family status."

And this: "We believe that personal experience, conscience, and reason should be the final authorities in religion. In the end, religious authority lies not in a book, person, or institution, but in ourselves. We put religious insights to the test of our hearts and minds. We affirm the worth of all women and men. We believe people should be encouraged to think for themselves. We know people differ in their opinions and lifestyles, and we believe these differences generally should be honored. We seek to act as a moral force in the world, believing that ethical living is the supreme witness of religion. The here and now and the effects our actions will have on future generations deeply concern us. We know that our relationships with one another, with diverse peoples, races, and nations, should be governed by justice, equity, and compassion." Freedom, tolerance, morality and community--shouldn't those be the main cornerstones of a religion?! Why have so many of them lost their way? Greed and power seems to be overtaking the Catholic Church, I think, and I am so tired of its hypocrisy. It's not that I'm entirely against religion, but I am against the way it tells people what to think and believe and how to judge everyone else. Unitarian Universalism seems to be the opposite of a traditional religion--calling it a religion is almost an oxymoron.

I'm such a hippie. Scratch that, I'm more of an individual than anything else. If that makes me weird, so be it.

My (almost) last stand

This has been one dramatic week. Actually, that's kind of an understatement. It was completely gut-wrenching, unpredictable, enlightening and amazing, almost in that order. It turns out that if you try to bury something that's not dead, it will come back to haunt you until you find closure. Okay, I knew that already (hello 2008), but closure is not exactly something that you can teach someone else. Months and months of nagging intuition and gentle guiding culminated in a theoretical fight to the finish, a last stand. Ironically, I think both sides won. An incredible burden has been lifted and most of my hunches, good and bad, have been confirmed. I was seriously having doubts that I would ever see that day. I guess sometimes you just have to almost lose something to know what you have.

This week reminded me that I am no stranger to loss and I think because of that, I have learned when to hold on and when to let go. Life hangs in that balance, after all. The circumstances that create a loss might be out of your control, but how you handle it is entirely up to you--it's best to appreciate the experience, learn from it, and move on. End of story. Easier said than done, I know, but clinging to the past makes it impossible to fully live in the present and open yourself up to the future.

I also realized that sometimes I need to stop asking what I can do for everyone else and start asking what they can do for me. It's a little hard for me to even write that because I am just not programmed that way. Helping other people helps me. Once in a great while, though, I reach a point where I know that I am being taken for granted and I put my foot down. This time, I didn't have to lift the other foot and walk away.

I could go on forever about the things that this week reminded me about myself and my take on the world. At the ripe old age of...25, I seemed to have gained enough wisdom, strength, and good friends to get me through whatever life throws at me.

Uppers and downers

Today has been kind of a downer for various reasons, but this makes me laugh:



"What's in your hand? Back at me. I have it. It's an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again. The tickets are now diamonds!" Ha!

Also, this isn't exactly something that will make you laugh out loud, but I sort of recently discovered these "Tales of Mere Existence" and I like their style. Actually, I particularly agree with that one. This month's topic at Theology at the Bottleworks was "God or No God?" and it was a very open, honest discussion about things like that. I understand the reasons why you might or might not believe in God, and in the end, I think it's a very personal decision that fits that person's needs. Why is there so much fighting over something that no one will be able to truly answer until they die, anyway? God or no God, I think you should be a good person because you want to be one, not because someone/something told you to and you hope you'll be rewarded after it's all over.

Oh yeah, this was supposed to alleviate this emotionally draining weekend/week. Well, I guess that will have to wait until later. For now, sleep will be the solution.

Woman's Last Stand

For the record, I was not a fan of the Super Bowl commercials, especially the ones sympathizing with men about how women run their lives. I'm pretty sure I am not one of those women, but why would marketers choose to alienate half of their audience? Most of those "over-bearing" women shop for those men, anyway, so maybe they should have at least considered not turning them away. Thankfully, someone made this "Woman's Last Stand:"

Young and old love

I saw a sneak preview of the movie "Valentine's Day" on Monday. It's not going to win any awards, but it wasn't bad, either. It weaves the lives of many different people together and represents many different...versions of love. I really could have done without Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner's sappy, hormonal high school romance, though. Taylor Swift's (lack of) acting abilities and the character itself annoyed me almost equally. As they say in the movie, "Young love--full of hope, full of promise, and ignorant of reality." I just don't get it, probably because I never let myself go to that extreme. I've always been an "old soul," really, and as far back as I can remember, I thought that kind of whirlwind romance was silly and just not my style. It always seemed like something that could start so strong so quickly was built on a weak foundation and was bound to collapse almost as quickly. That's a drop in the bucket to me, because I know love can be so much more than that. You can't truly love someone until you really know them, anyway, and personally, I think knowing someone really well takes longer than a few weeks or even a few months. Emotion tempered with reason can still be love--in fact, I don't trust anything else with the term.

Some people say that true love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. Many people learn this the hard way, I think, but for some reason it feels like I have always known that. "Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being 'in love' which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two." -St. Augustine

Actually, I must have unconsciously learned this from my parents. They're having their 30th anniversary in a few months and I think they actually get along better now that my sister and I are out of the house. They never had the "banners and flashing lights," the extravagant displays of emotion, but they have always seemed to have an unspoken understanding and acceptance of each other. They don't really have much in common, either, but somehow they complement each other and make it work. They share a quiet companionship. I'm sure that sounds horribly boring and old-fashioned to some, but I actually think that kind of acceptance and devotion should be what we are all striving for. Sure, it's not always easy and exciting, but my impression is that it's worth it. I don't think I've ever stopped to appreciate all of this until just now. Wow.

Hmm, well...anything I might say after that would seem inconsequential, so I guess I will just leave it at that, for your consideration.

In my head

What is it about today? I've been in some kind of haze or something, just waiting for the day to be over. It's after 11, so after a shower, it will be over. I think I have to clear my head a little first, though. So here it goes:

• Boyz II Men have a concert here on Valentine's Day! How random and perfect is that? (Um, very.) I loved them back in 6th grade and I went to their outdoor concert in 2008, for old time's sake. I honestly wasn't expecting too much, but it was actually one of the best live shows I've ever seen! (My guy friend was also impressed.) They sang their classics, but they also threw in some old school Motown covers, a capella, and dancing. Plus, they still wore suits in 85 degree weather! It was a classy, professional show and it really showcased their abilities. I think Joel got us tickets today, which is awesome!! I think this makes up for last Valentine's Day already, but I am not going to get into that...

• Speaking of popular music from the mid-90's, Alanis Morissette has been popping up more than usual lately. I almost totally forgot about her, but I heard "You Oughta Know" twice in two days (first at karaoke, then Beyonce sang it at The Grammys!) and it reminded me that Jagged Little Pill was and still is a good cd. It was my first cd ever (Ace of Base was my first cassette tape) and I finally downloaded it to my itunes today. It's like angst set to pop rock, almost. I went through a phase were I really liked those songs and then a phase were I almost couldn't stand them because I didn't like her voice. Her voice still isn't the greatest, but I like the songs again.

• Hmm, Boyz II Men and Alanis Morissette? I guess that's a testament to my eclectic tastes. Maybe it's because I didn't really start getting into music until middle school, but I consider that kind of a golden age of my generation's music: Oasis, Nirvana, early Green Day and Weezer, Rage Against The Machine, Smashing Pumpkins, 311, Sublime, TLC, Usher, Blues Traveler...I can still appreciate all of that stuff. Most music after that is basically crap, musically, although I still like it. Something's missing, though....namely, talent, in more cases than anyone would like to admit.

• Did you know Pringles makes "stix" now? They are not as good as the similar snacks that they had all over Japan, but they're okay. Pringles has American flavors like "pizza" instead of Japanese flavors like...well, "salad." Seriously. I kind of missed them, and I still miss cold soba noodles and those rice pillow thingys (that have a name that I can never remember). Oh! And I especially miss banana chocolate-flavored everything. Japanese meals weren't really my thing, but I was all about the snacks. Basically, I miss Family Mart, the improved Japanese version of 7-Eleven.

• I'm sorry, but I still don't understand the point of "tweeting." If you want me to update my status that regularly, you need to get a life, and so do I. Just when I thought I couldn't care any less about your tweets, though, Mattel has introduced a way for me to care even less about your dog's tweets! Okay, now I officially don't get it.

• I'm going to an old coworker's house for Super Bowl and I'm pretty excited! She was the second person I ever met at Momentum. I haven't seen any of those people in a long time, so even though many of them no longer work there, I hope a bunch of them show up to the party.

• Of course, I have a million other things that I could put here, but it's finally Friday and I need to go to bed! Good night!
  

Music week

I probably spend the majority of my free time at least attending things that are related to music in some way, but this week seemed especially musical for me. On Wednesday, I made it through my first karaoke solo at a hole-in-the-wall bar relatively close to my house. I sang "Criminal" by Fiona Apple and it actually went pretty well. Joel has a discerning ear since he can really sing and even he approved. I kept telling him that I didn't have a great singing voice but at least I could carry a tune, and for some reason, he didn't believe me until he actually heard it (possibly because I had been to karaoke with him before and didn't sing or possibly because many people that think they can sing really can't?). I'm a pretty musical person and I'm pretty sure I don't exaggerate my abilities, though, so I wanted him to hear for himself. My stomach was churning so much before I got up there that I hardly drank anything because I was afraid I might throw it up. To make matters worse, I went right after Joel and the karaoke dj, who could both sing! I stayed pretty calm during the song, but I was still shaking a few minutes after it was over. (We sang "Build Me Up Buttercup" later, after I had more wine, and that was way easier.) We went to another karaoke place on Friday with Rosemary and I was more nervous then, but it went okay. I can do it!

Today, I led taiko practice, and after a nice lunch, choreographed most of a song that another taiko player wrote (at her request). It's perfect, since I didn't want to write the song and she didn't want to choreograph it! Plus, we had the same drum setup in mind. I can only watch myself play one part at a time, obviously, but they should work together rather nicely. Since I made up the choreography, I don't think it's too hard, but it's too hard for me to gauge. Maybe this will keep the more experienced players engaged in practice, too, which is something I have been worrying about.

I've been tuning into the Grammy's off and on as I'm writing this and I'm getting ready to watch Fame, too (the new version)! It's the extended dance version...Hey, don't judge! At least I'm not making you watch it with me. :)

On a mostly unrelated note, something reminded me of my old friend from high school recently (he played music), so I decided to see what he was up to via facebook. He has disappeared from cyberspace! It's kind of sad, because it means he has basically fallen off the face of the earth now, as far as I'm concerned. I realized the very last time I saw him was the first time I mentioned that I was "kind of dating" Joel. We were all going to the same concert and I invited him to swing by (he was even there with my second cousin!), but he never showed up. I invited him to a few other things after that, too, but stopped asking after several no-shows. I mean, really? If he liked me, he had plenty of time to do something about it before that, so I don't understand. Oh, boys are stupid...well, not all of them. I have been enjoying all kinds of deep conversations with one of them, in particular, lately. :)

Anyway, it is past time for my dance movie. What a great way to end a musical week!