Girl power

Let me just say, again, that my friends are awesome. I can't stress that enough these days. I can talk to about 5 girlfriends and a few guys about anything. They all represent different parts of me, it seems, and they each specialize in different areas of life. I would be lost without them. Sometimes just relating to them is enough. It reassures me that rain or shine, we are all in this together.

I look at my other girlfriends that are technically unattached, and I realize that some guys are just idiots. :) Seriously, these girls are amazing--smart, attractive, driven, down-to-earth, talented, kind--and any guy would be lucky to have them. They meet someone practically every time they go out. Of course, these girls won't take just "any guy," but sometimes even the ones they want won't make the effort. They know that those guys should not be worth the trouble, but somehow it does not make things easier. He will either come around or he won't, and she may or may not be available when he makes a decision. Who knows? By the time he realizes how much he cares about her, she could be waking up next to the guy that already knew. Those are my girls, and they shouldn't have it any other way.

The song in my head now is "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce:
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable

Keep on keepin' on

I played taiko without my hand brace today, for the first time in over 5 weeks! My hand doesn't feel quite right yet, but it doesn't hurt. I used the lighter bachi (sticks), anyway. Playing taiko again put me in a great mood. On top of that, they played the "Cupid Shuffle" right afterwards. There's a dance that goes with it that is so much fun! (I learned that dance on Beale Street in Memphis.) I didn't even care that I was the only one dancing to it for the first half of the song (behind the stage, but still). I was not drunk, just high on life. Ha, it was magical. :) I've been in a funk lately and I needed that pick-me-up. Hopefully this mood will carry into the week.

My life is in a holding pattern, but I refuse to just sit back and wait for things to get better. I can only do so much to fix my circumstances right now, but I have to make the best of what I have and am looking for tangible ways to improve it. For starters, I am making the room at my aunt's house my own by painting the walls and putting up my decorations. This week, I am starting flamenco lessons and will hopefully set up a schedule to volunteer at the St. Louis Crisis Nursery, since dance and kids are the two things that always cheer me up. That will help me occupy my days, and friends and taiko will continue to keep me busy most nights.

It feels good to reconnect with people that I lost touch with or that I just didn't get to see as much as I wanted to, and opportunities to hang out with them are popping up all over the place. Sarah (college roommate of 3 years) is even visiting this weekend, so I'm looking forward to that! Plus, I have been going out and unintentionally meeting some interesting new prospects; however, I'm not sure what to do about them yet. I mean, I am single...maybe, kind of. Ha! It's complicated, but I'm sure I'm overthinking it. I think the answer will come when I decide to really think less and feel more. We'll see. All things considered, I guess things aren't so bad. They could be worse. I just have to keep on keepin' on.

Hear what I am not saying

Do not be deceived by my silence. I want to tell you everything at once, but my thoughts cloud my head and choke my words. Maybe I just don't know where to begin, or where to end. There is no easy answer. I don't expect you to hear what I am not saying, but I think that you already do. We fight many of the same battles, separate but parallel. Drained, distracted, uncertain. Trying to secure our places in the world. Our futures depend on how we handle the present, now more than ever. Where do we go from here?


This new song by Sarah McLaughlin is haunting:
And tell me how do you feel
It’s so confusing
If you let it all go, it’ll fall apart
Do you want me to stay and say I still want you
U want me 2, don’t you?

I hope there’s forgiveness
In the distance between us
Can we make what lies ahead of us a better place to be?

White privilege

Freakin' awesome: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=106899383&blogID=432871257

Race (or gender) should have absolutely no impact on the outcome of this election, but I'm sure many people (consciously or subconsciously) won't be able to get past that. I can't believe racism and sexism still exist on this level in America. If nothing else, this election has become an eye-opening study in sociology for me.

Extra! Extra!

I will try to keep this political ranting short, but I will burst if I don't write this down. For starters, I think it's funny that McCain's platform strategy switched from "experience" to "change" once Palin got on board. How do you even claim to run on change when your party is the reason for this mess? Like "Ha, get a load of the last government screw-ups! Sure, I agreed with them more than 90% of the time, but you can trust that I will be different." How does that work? McCain is running a dirty campaign. I even used to like him 4 years ago, before he lost his integrity. Even Karl Rove (of all people) said that McCain's campaign lies and negative attacks have gone "too far." Others have called them "shamelessly misleading," "thoroughly dishonest," and "a toxic mix of lies and double-speak." Sadly, negative campaigns tend to work, but I hope people are smart enough to see through it this time. I know Obama truly has been trying to run a clean campaign, but I think at this point more attack ads against McCain are fair game. It should be so easy, especially with the major hits on Wall Street today.

I did some volunteer work for Obama's campaign last week and I plan to do more. It's exciting to be around other people that are enthusiastic about it, and one of the campaign leaders is even my age. Hopefully, Obama will win and I can spare you from these political blogs. Give me a break, though; I've been desperately waiting for a new President for 5 years! Now we're down to just 7 weeks. Thank God. Um, in reference to Bush, I think I'm also entitled to say "I told you so."

In other news, I'm going to start taking flamenco classes on Saturday. There's a place that offers them for only $10 an hour, any week that I decide to go. Flamenco dancing will definitely be something different. In flamenco, they use their heels much more than their toes; in tap, it's the opposite. Flamenco involves a lot of stomping and twisty hand motions. The hand and arm stuff come naturally, but the rest might be a challenge. That is exactly why I should do it, though. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing, right?

Awkward

So...I just got a facebook friend request from the person that interviewed me a few weeks ago! He sent me an email earlier today saying that they've just been really busy and I am definitely still in the running for the job. Uh, I guess I'll just let him see my limited profile because I can't really deny him...

Because of this, I decided to check my privacy settings. It turns out everything was set for "friends of friends" to see my profile (we have 2 friends in common)?! When did that happen? I know I did not set that myself, ever. At the most I would have set it so that "networks and friends" can see my profile. Wow, Facebook, I don't know how you did it (maybe added more options and just defaulted to that?), but that's pretty sneaky. Myspace is already closed off to only my friends, and then my blog is sometimes even more limited (especially this one). I'm not worried about that.

I am worried that he saw that picture of me doing crack with those hookers, though. How embarrassing! Oh wait, there's no evidence of that. Phew. I don't think I have anything incriminating on there, then, but it makes me uncomfortable. What if this guy despises...I don't know, Elf or The Colbert Report? What if he hates dancing, bungee-jumping taiko players even more?! Then I'm screwed. I guess I wouldn't want to work for anyone that hated those things, anyway. I still am very conscious of keeping my work life and my social life separate, though, so I'd rather just "deny" this guy. Any suggestions?

Lalala

I need a job...

Rose-colored glasses are really not that practical. I actually prefer blue:
You See the World Through Blue Colored GlassesYou live your life with tranquility. You have faith that things will work themselves out with time.
You judge all your interactions through the lens of hope. You try to get all the facts before forming your opinion.

You face challenges with wisdom. You know that all bad things pass, and you have the confidence to see problems through.
You see love as the utmost expression of trust. Your relationships tend to be peaceful and stable.

At your worst, you can be cool, melancholy, and detached. You sometimes have to step back from emotionally charged situations.
You are at your happiest when you are able to reflect and relax.


Got a headache that won't seem to go away? The shakes? Obviously, you've been away from me for too long and are experiencing withdrawal:
You Are the GuruYou are a naturally good counselor. You are inspiring, encouraging, and compassionate.
You are eager to help everyone who crosses your path, even those who don't want to be helped.

You are a natural healer. People feel at peace when they are with you.
You are so good for people, in fact, that they go through withdrawal once you're gone.

You quietly do your own thing, without openly resisting. You secretly try to fix every problem.
Your biggest regret is not being able to help as many people as you'd like.

Your Independence Level: High

You are extremely self reliant and autonomous. You are definitely into doing your own thing. But you also wouldn't turn down help if you needed it. You follow your own path, but you don't do so blindly.