Eat Pray Love

I just finished that Eat Pray Love (One Woman's Search for Everything) book that I mentioned earlier, after I took a little break from it for a while. The movie with Julia Roberts comes out in a few weeks and I'm sure I'll go see it, despite my apathy for Julia Roberts. I'm actually sad that I'm finished with the book, because I bought it at the Rome airport on my way home and in some ways it was an extension of the trip. The author actually starts her main journey in Rome, oddly enough.

It's an autobiography about a woman in her early 30's who decides that she needs to discover the answers to life's questions on her own. She divorces her husband, has a fling, and then spends a year "finding herself" in Italy (eating), India (praying), and Bali (loving). It was an insightful and witty book and I liked it, overall, but I felt like this woman should have spent more time figuring herself out before she got married and dragged someone else into her personal struggles. All of a sudden she realized that she had been jumping from relationship to relationship since she was 15 and that she never took time for herself.

I think that's a problem for many women, but I can't relate to that part of the story. I always thought it was common sense that a solid sense of self was required before a serious relationship, and so I took plenty of time on that. Honestly, I think people that did that first are better off. Maybe some people think they need that other person to help them define themselves, but it just seems counter-intuitive and riskier than it needs to be. How can you tell that you've lost yourself if you haven't even found yourself yet? Or at least, how can you be sure of it? For me, someone else would have just been a distraction or a complication. The author seems to agree. Relationships are supposed to help you grow, but you have to start on solid ground.

I guess the author's level of immaturity and self-absorption in the beginning just seemed more typical of someone who's 10 years younger. If you suppress yourself for that long and spend your time morphing into other people, though, that's probably where you end up. I certainly am not close to having all the answers, but I am closer than I was a few years ago and closer than this lady was at the beginning of the book. That's my journey, though. I shouldn't project that on other people, but I am my only reliable point of reference. Everyone needs to find their own way and I'm still finding mine. Maybe that never really ends.