Writing exercise

My copywriter friend posted this on his blog and I thought I'd give it a try. It's a test created by Bill Wright, Creative Director on the Burger King Account at Crispin Porter Bogusky, as a way to gauge a copywriter's skill set.

My writer friend just left 4orce, actually, so we are currently devoid of a copywriter. Maybe this is my shot!

> Give a short, persuasive argument on letting Pluto remain a planet.

Growing up, we were always taught that we had 9 planets in our solar system. There's even a song that goes, "We've got 1, 2, 3 - 4, 5, 6 - 7, 8, 9 pla-nets." If you take out the 9 it ruins the song...and the simplicity of our childhoods.

> Pen a haiku about prairie dogs.

Burrowed deep in the ground
Came to the top to look around
Saw you at Devil's Peak

> Describe toast to a Martian in 50 words or less.

Toast is bread that has been heated until it is crispy. You can eat it by itself, usually with butter, peanut butter, jelly or other sweet spreads or you can put two together, add meat, and make a sandwich. (In Italy, "toast" refers to a thin toasted sandwich.)

> Describe the color red to a blind person.

Red is a passionate and strong color. It is often used to represent anger or aggression or, on the opposite side of the spectrum, love.

> "Employees must wash their hands before returning to work" is such a boring sign. It's ubiquity has rendered it useless (a sobering thought). For all humanity, please rewrite it.

No one wants to eat shit. Use soap.

> You might be a redneck if:

Getting your food "to go" involves scraping it off the street.

> Write a really awful pun.

Ohhh, I have a moral objection to puns, but ask someone who went as an awful pun for Halloween.

> What's your favorite oxymoron?

Hilarious pun :-P

> What's your favorite retronym?

Pepsi Throwback (but I'm partial to Coke, for the record)

> Write 12 synonyms for the word "Go."

Move, proceed, start, continue, walk, run, journey, leave, begin, depart, travel, head to

> Now write 12 antonyms for the same word.

Stop, yield, halt, stay, do not enter, terminate, end...uh, that's all I can think of, but now I successfully have that "Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now?" song in my head

> Extra credit: Diagram the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution.

First of all, how would I even type that? Secondly, hell no.


What does it mean?