My (almost) last stand

This has been one dramatic week. Actually, that's kind of an understatement. It was completely gut-wrenching, unpredictable, enlightening and amazing, almost in that order. It turns out that if you try to bury something that's not dead, it will come back to haunt you until you find closure. Okay, I knew that already (hello 2008), but closure is not exactly something that you can teach someone else. Months and months of nagging intuition and gentle guiding culminated in a theoretical fight to the finish, a last stand. Ironically, I think both sides won. An incredible burden has been lifted and most of my hunches, good and bad, have been confirmed. I was seriously having doubts that I would ever see that day. I guess sometimes you just have to almost lose something to know what you have.

This week reminded me that I am no stranger to loss and I think because of that, I have learned when to hold on and when to let go. Life hangs in that balance, after all. The circumstances that create a loss might be out of your control, but how you handle it is entirely up to you--it's best to appreciate the experience, learn from it, and move on. End of story. Easier said than done, I know, but clinging to the past makes it impossible to fully live in the present and open yourself up to the future.

I also realized that sometimes I need to stop asking what I can do for everyone else and start asking what they can do for me. It's a little hard for me to even write that because I am just not programmed that way. Helping other people helps me. Once in a great while, though, I reach a point where I know that I am being taken for granted and I put my foot down. This time, I didn't have to lift the other foot and walk away.

I could go on forever about the things that this week reminded me about myself and my take on the world. At the ripe old age of...25, I seemed to have gained enough wisdom, strength, and good friends to get me through whatever life throws at me.