Workaholics Anonymous

Hi, my name is Julie and I am a recovering workaholic. I haven't worked in 4 months.

Okay, I admitted it. Now what? No one ever talks about what happens in those AA meetings, for example, after they get through the introductions. It's hard to describe my relationship to work to someone that just works to pay the the bills, and even harder to resolve the problems that result once that is taken away. The reward for good, hard work was more work and more responsibility, and I loved the challenge. I tried to maintain a balance between work life and social life, but I let myself get lost in the cycle; it was just easier to focus on one at a time, and work always seemed to win. Sometimes I worked so much that I made myself sick, and even though I could see it coming, I did nothing to stop it. I stopped making plans with my friends during the week, because if something came up at work, I would have to cancel. I still placed great importance on hanging out with friends on weekends, but I usually felt too drained by the rest of the week to enjoy that time as much as I should have. It didn't seem like I had any other option, though. I was probably not too far away from a complete burnout; I willfully ignored the warning signs for too long.

Losing my job kind of snapped me back into reality and forced me to reassess my priorities. By all accounts, I should have been up for a promotion; however, despite my best efforts and sacrifices, they let me go instead. I haven't really come to terms with it yet, and it has affected me more than I have admitted to myself up until this point. Maybe I clung to work because I felt like I at least had some control over it, even though that turned out to be an illusion. It doesn't really matter now. What does matter is that, from now on, I recognize that work should not be the central part of my life. I can't hide under piles of work anymore, so I have to come face to face with everything else.